Top Exec Blog (Web Log)

The two travelers approached the airport customer check-in line from different directions. One was a family man with a young wife and infant child. The other, a more seasoned veteran of airports and travel challenges, was traveling alone. In a brief moment of interaction the former accused the latter of trying to take cuts in a line that was interrupted by a woman sorting her luggage, whilst sitting on the floor.

Tempers heated up. The older guy defended himself, saying he’d waited patiently while the other guy and family took their places in line. Then he went on to say there was no need to be rude and in fact he had waited courteously while the man and his family took their place. The young father carried on, saying that in fact the older guy was trying to cut in the line. At one point the young father moved aggressively towards the middle-aged traveler, as if to strike him, in response to a snide comment, but the wife prevailed and settled him down. There was more verbal sparring, and sharp glaring looks, and finally, with the wife pleading for her husband to forget it, and stop quarreling, the interaction ended.

As an observer, I wondered what it would take for the two to realize that their interaction and heated tempers warranted an apology. Even as I watched, they continued to wind in the snake-like line, separated only by one other passenger, till they both reached the ATM-like check-in machines side-by-side, each ignoring the other as best as possible. What would it take to say, “Sorry, I over reacted. I apologize if I upset you (or upset your wife)”. Yet it didn’t happen.

They continued on, passing from the check-in to security clearance and on into the vast waiting areas of an International airport, yet no apology came. What might have happened, if one or the other had acted on his Christian or Jewish or Muslim (or any other value system) precepts, and turned the other cheek, offering an “I didn’t mean to upset you, sorry”.

Would the world have been made a better place? Would the individuals involved have felt less stress, more peace? Who knows, but it caused me to think and ponder as to why we so often boil inside and leave things unresolved. What holds us back from saying something as simple as, “I regret what happened. Sorry.”? I know, for one, that the next time something like this happens to me, I hope to be grown-up enough to speak out loud and say it. Whether I’m right or whether I’m wrong, the lesson learned is to speak up, be mature enough to say it, and make sure not to leave an apology unspoken.

Thanks for reading.

© Daniel A. Cabrera, TopExec.org, All rights reserved, 2009.

For other perspectives from me, specifically on Latin America, see this blog: http://latinknowhow.blogspot.com

As we all know, time passes rapidly. Life rolls by readily, and before you know it, the years are piled up all around (and behind) you. No regrets, just hope I wrote a good story, as I went along, with a lot of good chapters, overall.

Along the way, from childhood on, we make friends, lose friends, re-connect with them and scratch our heads often, to ask, “whatever happened to so-and-so?” With the Internet, we often have friends we never knew we had (LinkedIn, Facebook, etc.), just as we can dig up folks from the past (or they dig us up), if we so desire.

Well, something like this happened to me recently, and while it’s not earth-shattering, it does warrant a commentary. In fact, it’s happened to me multiple times this year, and I wasn’t even trying.

Years ago, I was a starving musician (true story), working my way around the Southern California scene to find a record deal and become a star. Needless to say, it didn’t happen and no gold record came of it. However, I did share some formative years and some fun (and not-so-fun) times with a number of guys, including one from my small-town childhood, who went on the music venture with me, as well. Flash forward, and before you know it, a pile of years has grown up around me, and I haven’t spoken to him in more than 20 years.

Well, somehow, via the Internet, he got in touch with me. We exchanged emails, but never got around to phoning, till one day, while sitting in an airport I dialed him in California. Neither of us recognized the other’s voice (time ravages all parts, no?), but there was a camaraderie and a friendship that burned brightly as soon as we spoke. We spent 45 minutes talking about family, common friends, memories of our rock ‘n roll days, current events, politics, you name it. It was a warm and satisfying conversation, as if we’d never fallen out of touch. For someone like me who moved away from the home town long ago, and someone like him, who moved back to that same home town in recent years, it was an amazing moment of memory and friendship.

Fortunately, this is not an isolated experience. Others have reached out to me, and in their unique ways, they have expressed their regards and strong links to a friendship kindled years ago, in a work circumstance, university classroom or other shared experience. So as I reflect on this, and similar events, it occurs to me that we should all find ways to rekindle the flame of friendship. Whether that’s with the next door neighbor, or some long lost colleague/friend/mentor/teacher, it’s probably worth it. In fact, you often find out that people appreciate you more after all these years, then perhaps they seemed to way-back-when. Memory being as subjective as it is, and time being as elastic as it can be, there’s nothing like a phone conversation, email commentary or other communications with someone from the past to elicit opinions and compliments that just might surprise you. Hope it works for you the way it worked for me. And, I hope the flame of friendship warms your soul, one way or the other.

Perhaps you want to share this with someone. Thanks for reading.

© Daniel A. Cabrera, TopExec.org, All rights reserved, 2009.